and on it goes, yet at the same time I have work to do today: for the family, house, yard, job, and neighbor. I am so tired and the misery is piled extraordinarily high and toxic.
Someone please give me a Bible quote and the name of a therapist!
____________________ Pecca fortiter, sed fortius fide et gaude in Christo!
Galactic Signature: Blue Self-Existing Monkey
I am going to leave that to Deenie. Sorry about all this. I personally think that peer group expectations put pressure on kids to rebel over illusions that they perceive as vital elements of their lives.
____________________ "The force and degree of a man's inner benevolence evokes in others a proportionate degree of ill-will" - Gurdjieff
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." — George Orwell
Thanks Roy. It is sunny adorable weather again here. A total misunderstanding between mother and daughter that blew up to engulf the entire household in the flames of hell. Jeesh. Something like, now get this, my wife thought my daughter said over the phone she bought her a gift of a painting of the chinese character for poison, implying (to the chinese mind) she wanted her to go away and die. and that she also got a tatoo... but no she came home today from NYC and at dinner showed us a tatoo on her neck of the chinese character for poison... actually it isn't a real tatoo at all just some vegetable dye, and the gift for her mom was a painting of NYC. It took 20 hours for this PMS mess to resolve. :/
You point isn't lost though because we get fights that envolve teen self-peer image too! And there is a little bit of that in the tatoo and our dissaproval of young girls getting real tatoos.
____________________ Pecca fortiter, sed fortius fide et gaude in Christo!
Galactic Signature: Blue Self-Existing Monkey
and on it goes, yet at the same time I have work to do today: for the family, house, yard, job, and neighbor. I am so tired and the misery is piled extraordinarily high and toxic.
Someone please give me a Bible quote and the name of a therapist!
I suffer from this 'shit' on a weekly basis, arguments over nothing, problem is the daughter is over it very quickly, wife over it semi quickly, I am left pissed off for days unable to fathom the whole point of a mother/daughter relationship when it's on the bad side, when they swing over to the good side life is sweet, it's a god damn shame..
Exclusive: Patrice Lewis highlights uncanny similarity between training dogs, kids
excerpts:
Our daughters are presently 13 (almost 14) and 11, prime ages for teen/tween rebellion, snarkiness and drama. I've always heard that girls are easier to raise as children, harder as teens; and boys are the opposite. Therefore I took it for granted that the moment our oldest hit adolescence, all hell would break loose.
But no. Typical of our daughter's contrary nature, she's decided to buck the national trend for girls her age and remain a respectful young lady. Our younger daughter shows every indication of following in her older sister's footsteps.
How does this relate to dogs? Well, I just read an article entitled "Who's In Charge Here? A Lesson in Becoming Alpha," by Vicki Rodenberg De Gruy. The subject is getting your dominant dog to stop being dominant.
It occurred to me it also works for kids.
In canine packs, there's always an "alpha" animal. He (or she) is the boss, the top dog, the head honcho. All others are submissive to this one animal. He gets the best of everything. With the perks comes the responsibility of making decisions and defending his position. Unfortunately, many humans allow their dogs to become alpha. Big mistake.
Ditto with children.
Consider the following excerpts from this article … and while reading it, substitute "child" for "dog" and "parents" for "humans" and see where it gets you:
Some families encourage their dogs to take over the "pack" without realizing it. They treat their dogs as equals, not as subordinates. They give them special privileges. … They don't train their dogs and let them get away with disobeying commands. … Alpha doesn't have anything to do with size. … In fact, the smaller the dog, the more people tend to baby them and cater to them – making the dog feel even more dominant and in control of his humans.
Dogs need and want leaders. … They want the security of knowing their place and what's expected of them. Most of them don't want to be alpha – they want someone else to give the orders and make the decisions. If his humans don't provide that leadership, the dog will take over the role himself. …
In order to reclaim your family's rightful place as leaders of the pack, your dog needs some lessons in how to be a subordinate, not an equal. You're going to show him what it means to be a dog again. Your dog's mother showed him very early in life that she was alpha and that he had to respect her. As a puppy, he was given a secure place in his litter's pack and because of that security, he was free to concentrate on growing, learning, playing, loving and just being a dog. Your dog doesn't really want the responsibility of being alpha, having to make the decisions and defend his position at the top. He wants a leader to follow and worship so he can have the freedom of just being a dog again.
Maybe therein lays the secret of our success (so far) with our children. We're the alpha dogs in the family, and our kids know it. They have not challenged our authority; or rather, when they try it, we put them back in their place as the subordinate dog. No problem.
As the article points out, "alpha is an attitude." Kids, like dogs, watch you constantly and read your body language. If you're not in control of a situation, they pick up on that instantly and play it to their advantage.
I heard a Dr. Laura call recently in which a woman wondered what to do about her "sweet" 5-year-old son's temper tantrums. Dr. Laura asked the mother how she handled the tantrums. The mother improvised, "Now Johnny, tell me what's the matter. Johnny, I need to know why you're upset. Johnny, I can't help you if you won't calm down. …"
Then Dr. Laura asked how the father handled his son's tantrums. "He swats him on the rump and puts him in his room," the mother replied, and admitted the boy behaved better around his dad.
"Then you need to start acting like the alpha dog your husband is," advised Dr. Laura. "The dad's punishment is swift and terrible. Your husband is being alpha. You need to learn that too."
____________________ Politicians and diapers should be changed often - for the same reason!
_________________
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
You may know someone who needs this. How to pray for young people. IMHO our wives might needs some of this too in regards to Mother-Daughter relations!
____________________ Pecca fortiter, sed fortius fide et gaude in Christo!
Galactic Signature: Blue Self-Existing Monkey
